3 min read

Too Much on Your Plate?

This article was written by our dear friend and Club Member, Luis Quezada certified coach and owner of Virtu Coaching

Let's talk about personal boundaries..

Imagine this: It is the end of the week, you have two reports to complete, your notes are not organized, you are trying to leave the office, and a colleague walks in talking about a new and exciting project and how they could really use some help; and in the spirit of excitement, you immediately agree to help your colleague.. If you relate to this situation, you are probably tend to overcommit to things.

I know it is rewarding to push the limits, but also, if you have ever overcommitted beyond your own interests, you might feel like there’s too much on your plate.

How did you end up with so much to do? Outside of the inevitable demand of work, the intuitive response to this question is that it has to do with time management–and possibly, who isn’t guilty of overbooking? However, when taking a closer look you might also find it interesting to learn that according to a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association (APA) in 2019 it found that 64% of adults reported they engage in people-pleasing behaviors.

So, are you doing things for others despite sacrificing our own needs or interests or taking on too much? Not saying no to requests? Agreeing simply to avoid conflict?

One way I like to view this is with this analogy: When going to a buffet, everything sounds great, and appetizing so you say “yes” to everything and place it on your plate. Nonetheless, by the time you get to sit, eat, and enjoy, it turns out food is falling outside your plate. You can’t even find that treat you really wanted and now are pushing through to try and half-way finish everything. There’s no way you’ll eat all that!

Keep an eye out for your personal boundaries. Heart-centered professionals that are most engaged in helping behaviors for the pure value of helping, learning, and making a difference do so with a genuine interest and undivided attention–we commit!

The underlying purpose, compared to people-pleasing, is a genuine desire to help rather than a need for approval or validation; which can make it even more common to overcommit and to overlook personal interests; thus requiring a much added vigilance in order to foster healthy boundaries.

Being mindful of personal boundaries can help, you might consider these questions: What are my non-negotiables, and am I prioritizing them? What self-care practices can I implement to nourish my own heart and energy? How does my involvement align with my mission?

If you want to get started: Start with a small bite. Simply start by saying “can I get back to you?”

Not only will this allow you to take a closer look at your calendar, but it will also allow time to ask yourself the above questions. Fundamentally practicing self-awareness will also permit you to recognize your own thoughts, emotions, and motivations. By the time you get back to your colleague, do so decisively with clear expectations, timelines, or set parameters. Specifying when and how you can help or assertively skip for the next exciting project. Delaying your response allows you to talk to a close friend as well.

Note that having a group of positive influences and like-minded people can allow you to find help should the first friend you asked first be in the very same predicament–after all, you could’ve been the person arriving with the new and exciting project!

Try it yourself. Sometimes juggling too many things at the same time can make it hard to see a clear path. And although at times demands can be situational, it is no surprise that heart-centered professionals will always want to say “yes to helping others” However, it can become detrimental when you are not prioritizing your own wellbeing or personal projects first!

Make room to breathe, align, and proceed.

How about you? What are other strategies you are implementing to prioritize your own interests? I am Luis Quezada, a certified coach who empowers heart-centered professionals like you that are passionate about positive change and personal development.

Call me 419-967-7139 or send an email to l uis@virtucoaching.com

Through coaching, we accelerate a growth mindset in a safe and supportive space that explores your ideas and challenges you to discover new possibilities.

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